Sometimes, in life, there are just things that are hard to accept, such as things and people that are just not meant for you. I've been very lonely for quite some time and I took comfort in the "friendship" of a person who held a very special place in my heart. I tried to convince myself that it was OK to still have contact with him because after all, he is the only person in this world who is capable of making me happy without exerting much effort.
I was lonely because I was struggling with my new work load, new work environment - with no friends to comfort me. I was always sad and his texts were the only things that could cheer me up.
I took the chance to be with this person for several stolen moments because I knew that I would be happy when I'm with him. But the pain of separation was always a lot more difficult each time - for me. I have often wondered why God allowed our paths to cross - because ever since I've known him, I have always longed to be with him.
I could not even blame him for taking advantage of me. I was lonely and vulnerable and I needed him. I was a very open target for anyone who needed something to play with. I'm hurting but I pray that God will heal me and give me peace.